


if you're drunk and you're a moron, who's guiding the groupchat?

by Prettything_uglylie



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Groupchat AU, Bisexual Bellamy Blake, Bisexual Clarke Griffin, Bisexual Octavia Blake, Bisexual Raven Reyes, Brollarke - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Gay Nathan Miller, He's the One Straight Friend, Lesbian Lexa, M/M, Multi, Niylah & Murphy are siblings bc the Harmons haha, Pansexual John Murphy, Pansexual Monty Green, Straight Ally Lincoln, Trans Jasper Jordan, We stan 1 (one) Lincoln, groupchat, jahas their adoptive father, niylah lexa and murphy are adoptive siblings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2019-10-31 09:22:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17846729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prettything_uglylie/pseuds/Prettything_uglylie
Summary: - JMurphy has changed his username to EdgeLord -RavenCAWCAW: who made you the lord of Edges?EdgeLord: me bihRavenCAWCAW: y'all aint the lord of edgesMillerGriller: more like the Second-In-Command of EdgesEdgeLord: dickheadBellam: You're my bitch, if anything.MillerGriller: O  O F- MillerGriller has changed 'EdgeLord' to EdgeBitch -





	1. EvAn PEtErS MaDe mE gAY

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, hi, this is a highschool AU with a groupchat and no semblance of plot. Enjoy, I think? 
> 
> Also, this shit show was inspired by my favourite groupchat fic called that one nelson mandela quote by Cosmo_Kid, please check it out! It's way better than my dumpster fire!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JMurphy: anyways! 
> 
> JMurphy: i have somethinv important and gay to say 
> 
> Jasp_Jord: isn't everything you say important and gay? 
> 
> RavenCAWCAW: 👀important👀 
> 
> MonTea: somethinv 
> 
> King_Blake: We're all gay here 
> 
> Millin_Hoes: you're such a dramatic twink murphy smh   
> ___________________________________________________
> 
> A weird amount of references to the Columbine massacre but hopefully in a way that no one sees as disrespectful. Please don't!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few references to Columbine so trigger warning there absolutely. 
> 
> Please, still enjoy!?

**Emos and Emus**

Nate_Millin': to borrow a quote

Nate_Millin': WE'RE BACK BITCHES 

 

normalpeoplescareme: i hate you 

normalpeoplescareme: you make me suicidal 

 

MonTea: Go off, Murphy

 

Jazzy: y r we back here? 

 

Nate_Millin': Because I found it again 

 

normalpeoplescareme: you know 

normalpeoplescareme: i once found a knife in my closet again 

 

Jazzy: ofc it was in your closet 

 

normalpeoplescareme: doesn't mean i have to use it 

 

Nate_Millin': why do you have a kinfe in your closet? 

 

MonTea: kinfe 

 

normalpeoplescareme: for you in particular miller 

normalpeoplescareme: also 

normalpeoplescareme: monty just roasted you 

normalpeoplescareme: how does it feel to be bashed by the pure miller? 

 

Jazzy: 'fpr you in particular miller' is such a vauge threat 

 

MonTea: fpr 

MonTea: vauge 

 

normalpeoplescareme: AlSO

 

Jazzy: oh no 

Jazzy: he's using capitals 

Jazzy: miller's gonna die tonight 

 

Nate_Millin': why do you assume this is a threat to me? 

 

MonTea: Hope. 

 

Nate_Millin': W H A T 

 

Jazzy: Monty??? 

 

normalpeoplescareme: okay first 

normalpeoplescareme: BIG ROAST 

normalpeoplescareme: 10093920 points for monty 

normalpeoplescareme: but second,,, 

normalpeoplescareme: do we know what my user is a reference to? 

 

Nate_Millin': Panic! ? 

 

MonTea: Fall Out Boy? 

 

Jazzy: YOU'RE BOTH BANNED FROM MURPHY AND I'S EMO PHASES 

Jazzy: it's like your gay awakening right 

 

normalpeoplescareme: first

normalpeoplescareme: IM PAN 

normalpeoplescareme: second,,, 

normalpeoplescareme: we no longer stan Monty 

normalpeoplescareme: and we never stanned miller 

normalpeoplescareme: mostly becuase he typed 'panic!' without the rest 

 

MonTea: becuase 

 

normalpeoplescareme: third

normalpeoplescareme: monty's a ho 

 

SunlightReyes: I was in a Math Exam 

SunlightReyes: You guys suck 

 

normalpeoplescareme: fourth 

normalpeoplescareme: it isn't a song 

normalpeoplescareme: worse 

 

SunlightReyes: Y'all fucking suck 

SunlightReyes: No reaction? 

SunlightReyes: I share my soul with you and I get nothing 

 

normalpeoplescareme: because you didn't share anything with us 

 

SunlightReyes: ????

SunlightReyes: My soul 

 

normalpeoplescareme: what soul? 

 

SunlightReyes: Oh, sure go off Mr. I'll-Make-My-Username-A-Quote-From-Tate-Langdon

 

Nate_Millin': THAT'S WHERE IT'S FROM??? 

 

\- **The Delinquents** - 

RavenCAWCAW: Remember that time 

RavenCAWCAW: that Murphy named his username after a school shooter? 

 

King_Blake: He has a what now 

 

JMurphy: a username after a school shooter 

JMurphy: keep up bellam 

 

King_Blake: Please explain? 

 

 Monty_G has changed his name to MonTea 

 

MonTea: It was quite witty, to be honest, and I like my username 

 

Millin_Hoes: Don't thnik he was talking about you bb 

 

MonTea: thnik 

MonTea: bb 

 

Jasp_Jord: bb is cute 

Jasp_Jord: change my mind 

 

JMurphy: it be gross 

 

Millin_Hoes: 'It be'

 

Jasp_Jord: SAVAGE 

 

JMurphy: not ??? really ??? 

 

King_Blake: Is no one going to explain to me why my boyfriend was stanning Columbine 

 

JMurphy: IW ASNT STANNING COLUMBINE 

JMurphy: i was stanning tate langdon 

 

HedaLexa: to be fair,,, 

HedaLexa: my entire "AM i lesbin???" debate was over evan peters as well 

 

MonTea: lesbin 

 

HedaLexa: its reclaiming monty 

 

JMurphy: wanna know somethinv cool? 

 

MonTea: somethinv 

 

JMurphy: okay but fuck you 

 

RavenCAWCAW: okay but you know something cool, Murphy??? 

 

JMurphy: okay but fuck you too Raven

 

King_Blake: I'd love to hear what you have to say babe! 

 

Jasp_Jord: bb 

Jasp_Jord: if you will,,, 

 

Millin_Hoes: I won't 

 

JMurphy: SAVAGE 

 

JMurphy: anyways! 

JMurphy: i have somethinv important and gay to say 

 

Jasp_Jord: isn't everything you say important and gay? 

 

RavenCAWCAW: 👀important👀 

 

MonTea: somethinv 

 

King_Blake: We're all gay here 

 

Millin_Hoes: you're such a dramatic twink murphy smh 

 

Jasp_Jord: you re so valid Murphy 

 

JMurphy: ??? 

JMurphy: ??? why 

JMurphy: ??? 

 

Jasp_Jord: you are!! 

 

MonTea: He's saying that and crying, in real life, because you are "the only one who understands the emo phase" you two both shared apparently? 

 

Millin_Hoes: I don't know what the best part of the gc is: bellamy willing go listen to his boyfriend blurb about tate langdon/columbine??? just to get his dick sucked, or Monty typing like his mother 

 

MonTea: Guess you aren't looking to get YOUR dick sucked 

 

Jasp_Jord: SAVAGE 

 

RavenCAWCAW: SAVAGE 

 

King_Blake: SAVAGE 

 

HedaLexa: SAVAGE 

 

Millin_Hoes: ...I've been attacked 

 

JMurphy: so almost all american horror story villains/antiheroes/bad guys are inspired by people in real life (see: james patrick march being hh holmes, arthur arden being based off actual nazi doctors ofc and etc) 

JMurphy: so they made tate and they were aiming for a romanticized villain in that they decided to make him likeable and something of a "sweet boy" for the first few episodes of season one where he was revealed to not only be a ghost, 

JMurphy: but also a school shooter 

JMurphy: and, fun but not really fact: he is based off one of the specific Columbine school shooters named Dylan, who in the journals the police found had, in his midst of hate speech to basically everyone, had also had pleas of wanting romance and thinking that "love may have changed me" 

JMurphy: so then ryan murphy (lol ill let him have my last name if i can have cody fern) did research on this, wrote some of the character of tate and found evan peters 

JMurphy: they had also originally been planning on dressing tate in modern time, in dark grunge clothing and being something of a "lone wolf" type but then evan peters said to ryan murphy "it's so much scarier if tate seems like just a normal bullied kid with therapy issues, right?" 

JMurphy: so, in conclusion, tate langdon may be based off a school shooter 

JMurphy: BUT EVAN PETERS COULD STILL FUCK ME 

JMurphy: i mean 

JMurphy: he made me gay after all

 

MonTea: I thought you were very persistent that you are pansexual? 

 

JMurphy: youre also pan stfu 

 

RavenCAWCAW: ....

RavenCAWCAW: this is so informed??? 

RavenCAWCAW: its actually impressive how gay you are/were for Evan Peters 

 

King_Blake: I'm??? jealous¿¿¿ 

 

JMurphy: Of him or me? 

 

Millin_Hoes: youre honestly such a loser 

 

Jasp_Jord: Murphy? 

 

JMurphy: ...I honestly almost don't want to answer him 

JMurphy: fuck it 

JMurphy: yeah, jas? 

 

Jasp_Jord: I'm going to marry yiu 

 

MonTea: yiu 

 

JMurphy: id rather you didnt 

 

King_Blake: N OPPE

King_Blake: MY BOYFRIEND J ASPER

 

JMurphy: cute 

 

RavenCAWCAW: also id dom the hell out of cody fern thank uou 

 

MonTea: uou 

 

JMurphy: or??? he'd dom you??? 

 

RavenCAWCAW: hahahahaha 

RavenCAWCAW: you actually think he could top anyone???? 

RavenCAWCAW: yeah sure antichrist and all that shit 

RavenCAWCAW: still a pretty boy who id fuck

 

JMurphy: ??? Anyone else on that list??? 

 

RavenCAWCAW: aww curious if id dom you murphy? 

RavenCAWCAW: i would 

RavenCAWCAW: you, monty, jasper and finn were the first guys on my list 

 

MonTea: i was WHAT??? 

 

Millin_Hoes: Lost the Mom Speak

 

JMurphy: did you 

JMurphy: top finn? 

 

RavenCAWCAW: did you 

RavenCAWCAW: think finn topped??? 

 

WanhedaGriffin: he doesn't 

WanhedaGriffin: as someone he fucked up and cheated on raven with 

WanhedaGriffin: he doesn't 

 

HedaLexa: hey babe! 

HedaLexa: answer my messages? 

 

JMurphy: CALLED OUT 

 

WanhedaGriffin: shit sorry sweetie 

WanhedaGriffin: difficult night 

 

MonTea: We can tell. You're typing in lowercase letters. 

 

JMurphy: CALLED OUT

 

King_Blake: You okay, Clarke? 

 

JMurphy: 👀🙃🙃🙃 

 

[ **PRIVATE CONVERSATION BETWEEN KING_BLAKE AND JMURPHY** ] 

King_Blake: Really, babe? 

King_Blake: It was a brief crush 

King_Blake: I'm just makinv sure she's okay

 

JMurphy: 👀🤔🤔🤔 

 

King_Blake: Babe? 

 

 

[ **THE** **DELINQUENTS** ] 

WanhedaGriffin: guys 

WanhedaGriffin: we might be moving again 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this! Comments and kudos keep my skin clear!


	2. dramazone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Delinquents
> 
>  
> 
> Millin_Hoes: morning 
> 
>  
> 
> MonTea: Morning! 
> 
>  
> 
> Jasp_Jord: morning! 
> 
>  
> 
> WanhedaGriffin: morning 
> 
>  
> 
> RavenCAWCAW: GOD, YOU GUYS ARE SO BORING 
> 
> RavenCAWCAW: CAN WE SPICE THIS UP?
> 
>  
> 
> JMurphy: MORNING FUCKERS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy, I hope! 
> 
> (Also, Clarke gets a bit of shade here. Sorry!)

 

**The Delinquents**

 

Millin_Hoes: morning 

 

MonTea: Morning! 

 

Jasp_Jord: morning!  

 

WanhedaGriffin: morning 

 

RavenCAWCAW: GOD, YOU GUYS ARE SO BORING 

RavenCAWCAW: CAN WE SPICE THIS UP?

 

JMurphy: MORNING FUCKERS  

 

King_Blake: ....I'm going to kill you 

 

JMurphy: good

JMurphy: i've been alive too long 

 

Millin_Hoes: Damn, gettin Edgy(TM) Murph? 

 

< Abram_Lincoln changed JMurphy's username to Edgy(TM) > 

 

WanhedaGriffin: We stan 1 (one) Lincoln 

 

Abram_Lincoln: Thanks 

Abram_Lincoln: good morning, everyone! 

 

Edgy(TM): good to know all of my friends hate me 

 

WanhedaGriffin: :( 

WanhedaGriffin: sad bby 

 

MonTea: bby 

 

WanhedaGriffin: This is betrayal from my BBY Monty 

 

King_Blake: Top 10 Anime Betrayals 

King_Blake: ALsO babe, I love you 

 

WanhedaGriffin: wow thanks !1!1! 

 

King_Blake: Not you 

King_Blake: Murphy? 

 

**\- Text Messages between Babe <3 and Bell - **

Bell: hey sweetie

Bell: you here? 

Bell: it says you're active? 

 

\- **The Delinquents -**

WanhedaGriffin: So I might be moving, right? 

 

RavenCAWCAW: So you tell us,,, 

 

King_Blake: Okay, yeah, Clarke 

 

WanhedaGriffin: Off of Raven's bitchy comment,,, 

WanhedaGriffin: I dont quite know how to do this but I think we should throw a party

 

King_Blake: Where though? 

 

WanhedaGriffin: Your place? 

 

King_Blake: I'll just chit chat with O and we'll see 

 

WanhedaGriffin: Thank you!!

 

King_Blake: Anything for you 

 

< Millin_Hoes added King_Blake, Abram_Lincoln, Jasp_Jord and MonTea to a groupchat > 

< Millin_Hoes renamed the groupchat BELLAMY,,, WHAT TH E FCUK ARE YOU DOING? > 

Millin_Hoes: YOU AND MURPHY ARE STILL TOGETHER, RIGHT? 

 

King_Blake: Yeah??

 

Millin_Hoes: THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FLIRTING WITH CLARKE? 

 

Abram_Lincoln: I was sort of curious too 

Abram_Lincoln: Also add Octavia to the groupchat coward 

 

MonTea: I was going to bring up 'FCUK' but I'm too worried about this too much, honestly. 

 

Jasp_Jord: And Murphy went really quiet???

 

King_Blake: We're still dating 

King_Blake: We're just fine 

 

\- **The Delinquents -**  

< Edgy(TM) has left 'The Delinquents' > 

 

WanhedaGriffin: Wow wait what happened? 

 

RavenCAWCAW: Murphy left

RavenCAWCAW: Bellam? 

 

WanhedaGriffin: Wow thanks Raven, didn't notice 

 

King_Blake: I don't know honestly 

 

**\- BELLAMY,,, WHAT TH E FCUK ARE YOU DOING? -**

Millin_Hoes: We'Re JUsT FinE 

 

Jasp_Jord: Bellamy: We're just fine 

                Murphy: *leaves groupchat*

 

King_Blake: guys

King_Blake: i'm worried 

King_Blake: he's not responding to my texts either 

King_Blake: I thought maybe he didn't have any internet so I texted him but he still isn't answering. 

 

Abram_Lincoln: I wouldn't if Octavia said 'anything for you' to another guy as well 

 

King_Blake: Thanks Lincoln 

 

MonTea: Honestly, Bellamy, do you want my advice? 

 

King_Blake: Sure, why not? 

 

MonTea: Talk to him. Communication is everything in a relationship and if you just talk to him, you may be able to talk this through and work it out. If you don't talk to him, knowing Murphy, he'll take it as a sign you don't care enough about your relationship or worse, that you are into Clarke and that would not be a good idea as you know, he's your boyfriend and it's obvious he's in love with you. Just, I've seen how much you two mean to each other and I don't want you to mess that up and regret it, okay? 

 

King_Blake: Yeah, I'll try to text him and Monty? 

 

MonTea: Yes? 

 

King_Blake: Thank you so much! 

 

Millin_Hoes: Monty's too pure 

 

Jasp_Jord: we dont deserve him 

 

Abram_Lincoln: we love you Monty!!! 

 

MonTea: Wow thanks guys! 

 

\- **The Delinquents -**

< King_Blake added Edgy(TM) to the Delinquents > 

 

King_Blake: hey baby? 

 

< King_Blake added RedQueen to The Delinquents > 

 

King_Blake: For you, Lincoln 

 

Abram_Lincoln: We don't deserve you. 

 

WanhedaGriffin: Hey Murphy, what happened? 

 

HedaLexa: guys,,, 

HedaLexa: Murphy left the groupchat for a reason

HedaLexa: He needs to not deal with a flood of notifications 

HedaLexa: He's going through something 

HedaLexa: I'm sorry but I'm going to mute it on Murphy's phone for the day 

HedaLexa: Love you guys 

 

King_Blake: OH GOD 

 

**\- Text Messages between Babe <3 and Bell - **

Bell: I hope you're okay 

Bell: I love you

Bell: I know this might be my fault and that my phrasing with how I was talking to Clarke could have been taken wrong but god, please don't think I was into her or trying to hurt you. Baby, you're my one and only. I love you so much 

 

**\- The Delinquents -**  

HedaLexa: and Bellamy fails to understand what not wanting notifications means... 

 

King_Blake: I'm sorry 

King_Blake: Is he okay? 

King_Blake: Is he mad at me? 

 

WanhedaGriffin: Hey hey, Bell, it'll be okay and just give him space, okay? 

 

HedaLexa: You're one to talk about space Clarke 

 

WanhedaGriffin: What's that mean??? 

 

MonTea: I don't want to be in this drama

 

< MonTea has left 'The Delinquents' > 

 

Jasp_Jord: Oh no, we've spooped Monty 

 

Millin_Hoes: My god you stupid dramatic ass gays

 

WanhedaGriffin: You're gay too??? 

 

Millin_Hoes: Least I ain't tryin to fuck everyone

Millin_Hoes: Just sayin' 

 

WanhedaGriffin: What do you mean? 

 

Millin_Hoes: whatever

 

**\- Mayonnaise is not breakfast food, Jasper -**

Nate*: Hey Monty bb, 

Nate*: You okay?

 

GayteenthCentury: Yeah, just a lot of drama. 

GayteenthCentury: I hate it when they get like that. 

 

JazzHands: yah so do i 

 

Nate*: It's ridiculous 

 

GayteenthCentury: I do feel bad for Murphy, though? 

 

JazzHands: Me too. 

 

Nate*: Me 3 

 

JazzHands: hey look it's our relatoinship 

 

GayteenthCentury: relatoinship 

 

JazzHands: i know what i did 

 

Nate*: I love you both so much 

 

**\- Camp Jaha -**

OnlyAMoleculeInAnAtom: why's murphy crying?

 

Mon_Monroe: Atom, don't be a dick! 

Mon_Monroe: But seriously, like, is he okay? 

 

Lexa_Woods: He will be 

Lexa_Woods: I'm just trying to convince him to help himself 

 

Mon_Monroe: How??? 

  
Lexa_Woods: He needs to prioritize himself

 

Mon_Monroe: oh shit 

Mon_Monroe: tell him i hope he's okay and everything gets better

 

JMurphy: thanks guys 

 

Mon_Monroe: of course! i'm here for you 

 

JMurphy: thanks 

 

Lexa_Woods: love most of you! 

 

**\- The Delinquents -**

< HedaLexa added Edgy(TM) to The Delinquents > 

< Millin_Hoes added MonTea to The Delinquents > 

Edgy(TM): hey guys...

 

WanhedaGriffin: Sooo,,, you're back? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed!


	3. it's getting soft in this gc tonight (or it was)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edgy(TM): casual reminder that I love my adoptive sisters
> 
> Edgy(TM): https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1CAEAQE_enCA814&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=bMuWXM3MMvL19APWkqqQCg&q=alycia+debnam-carey+and+richard+harmon&oq=alycia+debnam-carey+and+richard+harmon&gs_l=img.3...107837.116301..116943...0.0..0.1010.13816.6-16j1......1....1..gws-wiz-img.k1Jo2Io3PKE&safe=active&ssui=on#imgrc=xmrXn8uTORjifM:
> 
> Edgy(TM): https://www.google.com/search?q=jessica+and+richard+harmon&rlz=1CAEAQE_enCA814&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=-JW0bCUUOKpQRM%253A%252CWXkWN_vTxlFzzM%252C_&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kTFCZdpWsv7eZyC3hc-qz6E6qnaPQ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjAreyGv5nhAhVGjp4KHcrMAq8Q9QEwBXoECAgQDg&safe=active&ssui=on#imgrc=-JW0bCUUOKpQRM:&vet=1
> 
> Millin_Hoes: Are these from...Google? 
> 
> Edgy(TM): bacc off bitches we're famous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lowkey dislike Clarke and it shows but it'll be okay, they'll figure something out, hopefully??? ;) 
> 
> Hope you enjoy this!

**\- The Delinquents -**

Edgy(TM): casual reminder that I love my adoptive sisters

Edgy(TM): https://www.google.com/search?rlz=1CAEAQE_enCA814&tbm=isch&sa=1&ei=bMuWXM3MMvL19APWkqqQCg&q=alycia+debnam-carey+and+richard+harmon&oq=alycia+debnam-carey+and+richard+harmon&gs_l=img.3...107837.116301..116943...0.0..0.1010.13816.6-16j1......1....1..gws-wiz-img.k1Jo2Io3PKE&safe=active&ssui=on#imgrc=xmrXn8uTORjifM:

 

Edgy(TM): https://www.google.com/search?q=jessica+and+richard+harmon&rlz=1CAEAQE_enCA814&tbm=isch&source=iu&ictx=1&fir=-JW0bCUUOKpQRM%253A%252CWXkWN_vTxlFzzM%252C_&vet=1&usg=AI4_-kTFCZdpWsv7eZyC3hc-qz6E6qnaPQ&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjAreyGv5nhAhVGjp4KHcrMAq8Q9QEwBXoECAgQDg&safe=active&ssui=on#imgrc=-JW0bCUUOKpQRM:&vet=1

 

Millin_Hoes: Are these from...Google?

 

Edgy(TM): bacc off bitches we're famous

 

Jasp_Jord: srisly how???

 

HedaLexa: He uploaded it on Instagram, then googled his instagram then sent us a link to the photos. 

HedaLexa: Also, I'm glad you enjoyed our night out, bbro

 

MonTea: Applicable 

MonTea: Also, if I may ask, what is 'bbro'? 

 

Millin_Hoes: Did you stutter on bro? 

Millin_Hoes: Does it mean something? 

Millin_Hoes: Is it...aliens?

 

Jasp_Jord: ALIENS 

Jasp_Jord: IT'S ALIENS 

Jasp_Jord: CAN IT BE ALIENS? 

 

King_Blake: casual reminder that I love you! 

 

Edgy(TM): I cant MAKE it aliens jasper 

 

HedaLexa: It's for 'baby brother' dorks 

 

WanhedaGriffin: You guys went out? 

 

HedaLexa: Yeah, we did. 

 

< Text Messages Between LEX <3 and Klark > 

Klark: Hey, are we good? 

 

LEX <3: I don't know, are we? 

 

Klark: What? 

_read_

 

**\- The Delinquents -**

RedQueen: I dont mean to be crass and bring this up 

RedQueen: but remember when Niylah and I fucked before she moved into your fosterhome? 

RedQueen: like lmao she's cute 

RedQueen: but she was even cuter with her face between my legs 

 

Abram_Lincoln: w ow 

 

Edgy(TM): OCTAVIA YOU ARE SO BLOCCCCCEDDD

 

King_Blake: PRAISE JESUS OCTAVIA 

 

RedQueen: We lit aint religious Bell 

 

King_Blake: god, I wish we were so I could baptize you 

 

MonTea: I can't believe I had to read the phrase 'we lit aint raise Bell' with my own two eyes 

 

Edgy(TM): We all suffer together on this shithole earth 

 

Jasp_Jord: god u rlly live up to the user, huh? 

 

Edgy(TM): fuck you Jasper

 

MonTea: Edgy(TM) Went Off 

 

Edgy(TM): Fuck you too

 

King_Blake: hey Murph, I know you had a bit of a busy night but can you answer my texts? 

 

Edgy(TM): Yeah, fuck all of you guys 

 

King_Blake: Are you gonna make me apologize in front of the entire groupchat? 

_read_

King_Blake: John Murphy, you're the love of my life and when I hurt you, I felt just as bad as you did - if not more - as I love you so much that my own heart has stopped in its beating process for me and has instead, gently grasped your heart to sew it into my own chest and reconnect me to you. It has perfected the art of allowing my body to move, my mind to function and my lungs to breathe: all for you, all with this secondhand heart that I beg you'll let me keep - at least for a little longer. 

 

Edgy(TM): I hate you 

Edgy(TM): Seriously, how are you so cute???? 

Edgy(TM): This shit is infuriating 

 

King_Blake: ...Am I forgiven, babe?

 

Edgy(TM): Reluctantly 

Edgy(TM): But you're on thin fuckin' ice, kid

 

King_Blake: I'll make it better. 

King_Blake: Say, I take you out tomorrow night? 

 

Edgy(TM): May I suggest a sniper?

 

Jasp_Jord: Flexing that user hard 

 

Edgy(TM): No, but we're staying in

Edgy(TM): I already went out with the girls 

 

HedaLexa: The girls

HedaLexa: Like we're a known squad 

 

Jasp_Jord: *skqwaud 

 

HedaLexa: No, I know what I wrote 

 

King_Blake: OKay, tomorrow night. My place? Dinner and just hanging out? 

 

Edgy(TM): Theres no fuckn way Jaha's letting you after what he saw last time 

 

RedQueen: what he see tho??? 

 

Edgy(TM): What you think he see Octav

 

RedQueen: de rouf fucc

RedQueen: also

RedQueen: im so uncomfortable how you left my name unfinished  

 

King_Blake: I promise you your uncomfy level in no way compares to mine at the thought of you thinking of my boyfriend and I doing the 'rough fucc' 

 

Edgy(TM): Peep Bellam's overdramtaic ass 

 

MonTea: overdramtaic 

 

Edgy(TM): I wondered when you'd come back to do your job of being my spell check 

Edgy(TM): missed you honey :* 

 

Millin_Hoes: you FUCKIN what??? 

 

RedQueen: B E LLAM 

RedQueen: I'M ROLLING 

 

Abram_Lincoln: it's literally not that funny????

 

RedQueen: It is 

 

< RedQueen changed King_Blake's username to Bellam > 

 

Edgy(TM): it really wasn't that funny 

 

RedQueen: Give yourself more credit 

 

Edgy(TM): no. 

 

22:36pm 

 

Jasp_Jord: hey ya'll we still hanging out today? 

 

Edgy(TM): hey you dumb dick 

Edgy(TM): it's late 

 

MonTea: Yet, you're not asleep? 

 

Edgy(TM): gasp 

Edgy(TM): is monty.... 

Edgy(TM): awake??? 

 

MonTea: Shush, my mother isn't awake. 

 

Bellam: Y'all are losers 

 

Edgy(TM): not all of us have loft apartments bellam 

 

RedQueen: God, don't you wish 

 

Bellam: Why arent you aseep??? 

 

MonTea: aseep 

 

RedQueen: Because I'm not four (4) Bellam 

 

Edgy(TM): No, babe, she's six (6)

 

RedQueen: Fuck you Murphy 

 

Bellam: Octavia!!!! 

 

MonTea: I suggest you all watch jseoihwuowae

 

Edgy(TM): johnmulaneyhewasmurdered.gif 

 

Jasp_Jord: M O N T Y 

Jasp_Jord: B B 

Jasp_Jord: are you dead? 

 

Edgy(TM): on the bright side, you can call him 'bb' without being mocked 

 

Jasp_Jord: but - 

Jasp_Jord: but my boyfriend is my bb 

Jasp_Jord: he needs to be alive to be my bb 

 

RavenCAWCAW: god, y'all are annoying 

 

Edgy(TM): Thank you

Edgy(TM): Remove the stick from up your ass or I will 

 

Jasp_Jord: gotta love anal 

 

RavenCAWCAW: You Would 

RavenCAWCAW: Also, Murphy I'd peg you be real 

 

Edgy(TM): you're a liar and a coward 

Edgy(TM): Raven Reyes

 

Bellam: She isn't 

 

RedQueen: um???? thats fucking gross Bellamy??? 

 

Bellam: Says you 

Bellam: Also, no it's honest

Bellam: You're a bottom murph

Bellam: A great baby boy  

 

Jasp_Jord: B A BY BOY 

Jasp_Jord: YOU'RE HIS BABY BOY, MURPHY? 

 

Millin_Hoes: Our Edgy uwu Murphy is a Baby Boy? 

Millin_Hoes: likely 

 

Edgy(TM): goodbye bellam 

 

Bellam:   W H AT 

 

Edgy(TM): i am dead 

Edgy(TM): goodnight 

 

MonTea: We should all probably head to bed anyways, shouldn't we? It's getting rather late. 

 

WanhedaGriffin: I'm so tired guys,,,

WanhedaGriffin: Y'all are the Worst 

 

Edgy(TM): Then leave hoe 

 

Millin_Hoes: S HI T 

Millin_Hoes: LET HER LIVE 

 

Edgy(TM): No **™**

 

WanhedaGriffin: Why are you being such a dick? 

 

Edgy(TM): are what you eat 

 

Bellam: C URSED 

 

WanhedaGriffin: Seriously though, Murphy, what the fuck? 

 

Edgy(TM): i'm tired

Edgy(TM): one (1) you flirt with people who you aren't in a relationship with, who are in a relationship and certainly aren't LEXA 

Edgy(TM): two (2) you start drama when you don't have to 

Edgy(TM): and three (3) 

Edgy(TM): you're just really petty 

Edgy(TM): i can't 

Edgy(TM): anyways 

Edgy(TM): goodnight 

 

WanhedaGriffin: Really Murphy? 

WanhedaGriffin: fuck you

_read_

 

06:32am

MonTea: shit 

 

Millin_Hoes: understatement of the century. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this! Please leave comments and kudos; they keep my skin clear!


	4. Daddy Issues™

 

Bellam: So :)  

Bellam: Murph and I are having a date night 

 

Millin_Hoes: I already don't want to know 

 

MonTea: Please, tell me this isn't graphically sexual. 

 

Bellam: It isn't 

Bellam: It's sweet 

 

RedQueen: gross 

RedQueen: im bOReD 

RedQueen: give us the porn 

RedQueen: WaIT NEVERMIND 

RedQueen: THAT'S MY BIRTHEN 

 

Abram_Lincoln: BIRTHEN 

 

HedaLexa: Wouldn't 'birthen' be your son tho 

 

Bellam: gross 

Bellam: I'M YOUR OLDER BROTHER 

 

RedQueen: That's Why I Stopped Myself 

 

MonTea: I hate this groupchat. 

 

Bellam: AnYWAys

 

Jasp_Jord: I hope this gets good 

 

Bellam: so I'm SOFT 

 

RedQueen: You're a nerd 

 

Bellam: my baby boy 

 

Millin_Hoes: uwu 

Millin_Hoes: Is Baby Boy making his Daddy soft?

Millin_Hoes: uwu 

 

Bellam: yeah 

Bellam: ANYWAYS 

 

WanhedaGriffin: i hate that you said that 

WanhedaGriffin: i hate that i have to know that about murphy

WanhedaGriffin: i hate that murphy has that kink 

 

Bellam: no one asked 

Bellam: it's pure 

Bellam: he's a bit drunk 

 

Millin_Hoes: dwjednj 

Millin_Hoes: how that cute tho 

 

MonTea: *though 

 

Millin_Hoes: ily baby 

Millin_Hoes: but 

Millin_Hoes: shushhhhhhhhhhhhh

 

Bellam: and he's insisting on cooking for me 

Bellam:  and well - 

Bellam: beautifulbby.videolink

            _Murphy, slurring: i'd be a good housewife for you_

_Bellamy: oh, and why's that, baby?_

_Murphy: I can cook...and clean...and get on my knees, I'd be great. Marry me already, coward_

_Bellamy, smiling softly: is that a proposal?_

_Murphy, shaking his head but smiling: uh uh, you want to top, you get to propose_

Bellam: my BABBYYYY

 

Millin_Hoes: oddly graphic 

 

RedQueen: I D ID NOT NEED TO SEE MY BROTHER'S BOYFRIEND SAY HE'D GET ON HIS KNEES FOR MY BROTHER 

 

Bellam: hjey 

Bellam: it could be worse 

Bellam: I have a video of him actually on his knees doing stuff 

 

HedaLexa: I'm a Big Lesbian 

 

MonTea: We know, but how, perhaps, is this related? 

 

HedaLexa: means good night hoes 

 

RedQueen: night! 

 

Abram_Lincoln: Night 

 

Bellam: NiGhT 

 

MonTea: Oh, alright, makes sense. Good night. 

 

Bellam: does anyone want cute pictures of my boyfriend? 

 

Jasp_Jord: I can't tell if Bellamy's drunk 

 

MonTea: Bellamy is very drunk, my love. 

 

Jasp_Jord: off of alcohol 

Jasp_Jord: Or Miller's 'I Loev My Boyfriend(s)' Juice 

 

MonTea: *Love 

 

Jasp_Jord: hey tt, take a sip of Miller's juice 

 

MonTea: Dick. 

 

Millin_Hoes: Yay! Jasper, were getting laid! 

 

Jasp_Jord: whoop whoop whoop! 

 

MonTea: No. 

 

Millin_Hoes: Dammit we almost got em 

 

MonTea: You really did not? 

 

Millin_Hoes: Come cuddle with us at least 

 

Bellam: Awww, yall cuddlin? 

 

MonTea: No, I refuse. 

 

Millin_Hoes: please???? 

Millin_Hoes: we'll put you in the middle??? 

Millin_Hoes: Jaspers already asleep 

 

MonTea: Fine. 

 

Bellam: Awwwww! 

 

**10:32am**

Edgy(TM): Y'all fucking suck 


	5. Taxes (or alternatively: facing the inevitable fact you will be an adult soon ft pike being a creep and hasan minhaj love)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MonTea: this is bullshit 
> 
> Bellam: oh no it's lowercase 
> 
> Millin_Hoes: babe?????? 
> 
> Edgy(TM): the world's ended 
> 
> RavenCAWCAW: God we were so right to give you that username 
> 
> Edgy(TM): shut the fuck up

 MonTea: this is bullshit

 

 Bellam: oh no it's lowercase

 

 Millin_Hoes: babe??????

 

Edgy(TM): the world's ended

 

RavenCAWCAW: God we were so right to give you that username

 

Edgy(TM): shut the fuck up

 

MonTea: taxes are fucking bullshit 

MonTea: we have to pet 

 

Edgy(TM): pet? 

 

MonTea: *pay 

MonTea: my brain cells are fried with shock 

MonTea: we have to pay a certain amount that the government knows the amount of but we have to calculate it 

MonTea: and if we calculate it wrong 

MonTea: WE GO TO JAIL 

 

Bellam: Monty's so mad that hes typing like Murphy 

 

Wanheda_Griffin: It's truly jarring 

Wanheda_Griffin: But he is right about that 

 

Edgy(TM): shut up clarke 

Edgy(TM): Your mom is a doctor and your dad is a police officer 

Edgy(TM): you'd be fine in that area 

 

Wanheda_Griffin: Really, Murphy? 

 

Edgy(TM): really 

 

Millin_Hoes: Monty angry and "without braincells" is just Murphy's chaotic twink ass

 

Edgy(TM): nathaniel 

 

Millin_Hoes: my name isn't even Nathaniel 

 

Edgy(TM): sucks Nathaniel 

 

MonTea: wo w 

 

* * *

 

 

**( 2:34pm )**

 

Edgy(TM): so 

Edgy(TM): i think pike wants to fuck me 

 

Bellam: Why The Hell do you think that? 

 

Millin_Hoes: whaT

 

MonTea: This groupchat is so fucking weird. 

 

RavenCAWCAW: WhAT tHE WhOlESomE FuCKK JONATON

 

Heda_Lexa: I gotts to kill a Man? 

 

Jasp_Jord: you can't leave us on that 

 

RedQueen: Bellamy 

RedQueen: your bf be gettin' teacherdick 

 

Bellam: Murphy

Bellam: baby boy 

Bellam: answer me 

 

Millin_Hoes: BABY BOY 

Millin_Hoes: UWU

 

Edgy(TM): gimme a second 

Edgy(TM): okay so I was in pike's fucking physics class 

Edgy(TM): and i was being a sarcastic asshole 

Edgy(TM): because you know, me 

Edgy(TM): and he tells me to stay behind and i'm like 'lol okay' 

Edgy(TM): but then he cornered me against a desk and called me a brat and i 

Edgy(TM): i think he was trying to kiss me 

 

Bellam: he did WHAT? 

Bellam: I'm going to kill this man 

 

Edgy(TM): but i uh 

Edgy(TM): pushed him away

Edgy(TM): because i'm like committed to my mans 

Edgy(TM): and you know 

Edgy(TM): i didn't want it 

 

Millin_Hoes: Murphy,,, 

 

MonTea: Call the police 

 

Edgy(TM): and now i'm sitting outside of the school

Edgy(TM): on the curb

Edgy(TM): because that asshole made me miss my bus 

Edgy(TM): so 

Edgy(TM): can anyone pick me up perhaps? 

 

WanhedaGriffin: I can be there in five 

 

Edgy(TM): thank you 

Edgy(TM): so much 

* * *

 

**( 4:01 pm )**

 

Edgy(TM): hey bell, can you come over? 

 

Bellam: Absolutely 

Bellam: Be there in 15? 

 

Edgy(TM): okay 

Edgy(TM): love you 

 

Bellam: Love you too 

 

Millin_Hoes: hey murph

 

Edgy(TM): yeah? 

 

Millin_Hoes: Genuinely, Monty is right 

 

Edgy(TM): he usually is 

 

Millin_Hoes: Have you called the police? 

 

Edgy(TM): no 

 

MonTea: Or maybe, you should tell the principal or guidance? 

 

Edgy(TM): and what would come out of that? 

Edgy(TM): i'd have to go through so much court shit 

Edgy(TM): and as someone who goes through a shit ton of court shit for his mom, 

Edgy(TM): i don't want to 

 

Jasp_Jord: but you have to! 

 

MonTea: It could happen again, Murphy, whether it be to you or someone else 

 

Millin_Hoes: You should talk to them 

 

Edgy(TM): guys,,, 

Edgy(TM): thank you 

Edgy(TM): but i'm just tired right now 

Edgy(TM): i wanna cuddle with bellamy and watch patriot act 

Edgy(TM): maybe tomorrow 

 

MonTea: Okay, just remember: you are responsible for the change you want to see in the world. 

MonTea: Also, drink a lot of water, make sure you eat something and get some rest, okay? 

 

Edgy(TM): thank you monty 

Edgy(TM): love you so much 

 

* * *

 

**< MonTea made a chat with Bellam > **

 

MonTea: Alright, so it's Murphy, so we know he probably won't take action with what I suggested so I think I can trust you to deal with him. Make sure he drinks some water, or perhaps you can pick up a Gatorade/Powerade on your way as he needs electrolytes especially if he has been crying (which I am assuming he has been)? Also, make him soup or some food so he has something in his system. And, make sure he sleeps? 

 

Bellam: Thanks Monty 

Bellam: We really appreciate you 

 

MonTea: Also, I have decided I'm going to kill Pike 

 

Bellam: Save some for me 

* * *

**\- The Delinquents -**

 

 **( 8:54pm )**  

 

Edgy(TM): so folk 

Edgy(TM): can we discuss Hasan Minhaj? 

 

RavenCAWCAW: Yes we always can 

 

Edgy(TM): so I'm not muslim or indian 

Edgy(TM): as we been knewin 

 

RavenCAWCAW: y e 

 

Edgy(TM): but I'm proud of him 

Edgy(TM): and what he has done for both minorities 

Edgy(TM): and like, we're starting Homecoming King 

Edgy(TM): and i just 

Edgy(TM): love 

Edgy(TM): this manz 

 

RavenCAWCAW: I'm proud of him as well 

RavenCAWCAW: he's my beautiful boy

 

Edgy(TM): its true i love him 

 

Bellam: Guess what? 

 

Edgy(TM): what? 

 

Bellam: I love you 

 

Edgy(TM): i love you too 

* * *

 

**( 6:34am )**

 

RavenCAWCAW: Pike won't be at school today 

 

Edgy(TM): what why 

 

RavenCAWCAW: policE 

 

Edgy(TM): R AVE N 

Edgy(TM): i told you I didn't want that 

 

RavenCAWCAW: I didn't mention you 

RavenCAWCAW: I have a partner in crime 

RavenCAWCAW: his name is Monty Green 

 

Edgy(TM):  w h a t 

 

MonTea: Raven! You weren't supposed to tell him!

 

Edgy(TM): what did monty do? 

 

RavenCAWCAW: we emailed him from Monty's account, pretending to ask questions about chemistry and he sent an unsolicited dick pic 

RavenCAWCAW: so we reported him 

 

Edgy(TM): guys,,,, 

 

**( 7:19am )**

 

Edgy(TM): thank you

Edgy(TM): i love you so much 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, sorry, weird sexual harassment stuff so um, please don't hate me

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the idiots, have a good day and please comment/leave kudos. You're feeding Bailey!


End file.
